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John: Pop, I wish you'd try the low fat bacon.
Grandpa: Well, you can wish in one hand and crap in the other...and see which gets filled first!
Ann Morgan Guilbert as Mama Ragetti: At last! I get to WHACK him!
Max: Would you look at that poor man? hah hah hah!
Grandpa: RELAX! Kids swallow quarters all the time!
Daryl Hannah as Melanie Gustafson: Really?
Grandpa: Sure! If she craps out two dimes and a nickel, then you can start worrying, huh?
Max: You don't have the balls to take me on anymore! Ariel's had you neutered!
